


Who will ruin us in the end, me or you?

by Ljubicica



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Friendship/Love, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Self-Esteem Issues, Stubborn Idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-30 17:09:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10167800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ljubicica/pseuds/Ljubicica
Summary: Aaron and Robert five years later. People change. New characters and their impact on Robron relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> More from Robert's POV at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space between paragraphs represents approximately one or two weeks.

When Liv went off to college, Robert thought it would be second honeymoon to him and Aaron. It felt like in their relationship was always a third person. No argue, it became lot easier when they moved into Mill, at least half of Aaron’s family didn’t meddle and hovering over them. 

But, Adam insisted to expand the business, which wasn’t surprising considering two kids and third on the way, him and Vic definitely needed more money. Robert was totally up for it before he met potential partner, Jay. First time Aaron and Adam introduced them Robert thought if his brother in law has a clone, this guy would be it, just more irritating, if that’s even possible. 

Jay was overly enthusiastic, looked very unprofessional and Robert also didn’t like side gazes that he was giving to Aaron. But, his husband sided with Adam, so merging business began. It was a lot of hard work, him and Aaron spending whole day at the scrap yard and after that Robert still had to deal with Home James business. They slightly neglected their relationship but things got better when Jay’s partner Nadia came back from London and basically start doing all the paperwork. 

Robert and Nadia hit off from the beginning. She was sharp, had load of contacts and ideas. Nadia suggested that they should open an office in Hotten so Robert and her could meet their clients there, and there were more work and preparations to be done. Six months later it finally looked all settled in.  
-To new beginnings! Cheers lads! - Nadia shouted.

 

Few weeks after.

-Where are you off to, again? – Robert asked, slightly irritated considering this was third weekend in a row that Aaron wasn’t at home.  
-Meeting mum for a tea  
\- Should I expect you for the dinner?  
-Nah, probably eat something in a pub  
-Right then, have fun- Robert was leaning for the kiss and maybe invitation, instead he just got brush of the lips and –Bye. Not the way he planned this evening.  
So, whiskey and telly again, apparently.

It was so cold December morning, no meetings, slow business, which meant all five of them in porta cabin, recipe for disaster. Aaron and he drove in silence, probably due to Aaron’s last night no show until 3 am.  
-Morning- Robert said heading to his table.  
-Finally decided to show your ugly mugs, ey? - Jay was practically shouting with big grin on his face - Last night was mint!  


Robert glared to Aaron, so he was with him then, great, no wonder he couldn’t look at me whole trip.  
Aaron nodded with fake smile and dig into paperwork. He didn’t need another fight with Robert over how and who with he wants to spend his time.  


-Listen people, I’m sorry, but Vic could use some help today and I… -Adam started  
\- Sure, there’s no need for all of us to be here at this point- Nadia sad with a smile, she really liked Vic.  
-Thanks, we appreciate that- Adam mumbled, because Nadia wasn’t exactly his cup of tea.  
\- I was thinking, this doing reports is more Robert’s and your kinda thing, maybe Aaron and I could go for a pint or something?- Jay asked like is perfectly normal thing to have others to do your job.  


Nadia was looking at Robert as if she wasn’t sure what would be a right answer, but he was pretending to be concentrated on something while his jaw clenched.  
-Sure Jay, why you all just take a week off? - Nadia replied sarcastically.  
-Oh, come on, that was just a suggestion- Jay whined.  
-It’s not like he’s wrong, is it? We are rubbish at this- Aaron contributed, looking at Robert with such intensity, practically daring him to say something. He wasn’t even sure why. At first, three of them were hanging around together, but Robert and Jay were at each other’s throats all the time and Robert being Robert put his foot in it at one point, Aaron defended Jay, maybe a little too eagerly. Robert protested pointing out that Jay said some pretty offensive things to him to and Aaron just responded that Robert is older and should took the high road. Robert was taken aback with this statement, shocked and confused.  
-It’s just a joke-Aaron tried.  
Robert just shook his head, sighed and added bitterly

\- Sure it is.  
That was the last time Robert spent time with pair of them.

Robert just frowned, but Nadia saw that he was clenching his fingers under the desk.  
-Or, here’s an idea, you could try to learn something, it won’t kill you- Nadia answered sneering.  
-Well, Aaron and I are still young; we have time, right lad? - Jay said winking at Aaron- I’m not the one with age spots!  
Robert glared at him- For your information those are called freckles  
-Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.  
-You know what, maybe it’s for the best that you two just go and leave us to actually work- Robert said, clearly riled up.

 

Few days later.

-Any plans for New Years Eve? - Nadia asked, giving Robert his pint.  
Robert turned over, checking out his husband having a laugh with Jay, looking all cozy -No, nothing that I’m aware of, anyway.  
She gave him sympathetic smile. -Well, I guess the pub is always an option.  


Aaron and Jay were sitting in a booth, with Jay’s arm over Aaron’s shoulder and if Robert’s look could kill, well, Jay’s funeral would be up next. Nadia noticed her friend’s anger and tried with something that always soften Robert, talking about Vic’s kids. And she was right, he immediately turned his attention to her and starts showing photos as proud uncle that he was.  


Laying down in their bed, when nothing but the sound of Aaron’s snoring could keep him out of his thoughts, Robert felt completely and utterly helpless. And he really tried today. First, he made him a breakfast, his favorite, and then he persuaded Liv to Skype with them, which wasn’t easy, and then took him out for lunch in Leeds. Aaron was smiling, they were talking some nonsense, and he finally felt them connecting again. 

Back home, while putting their suits on, Aaron was struggling with his tie and Robert was delighted to help him, pulling him close and kissing him fiercely. They both breathing heavily when Aaron broke the kissing and whispering 

-Hey, plenty time for that later, I promised my mum to help tonight. Robert was disappointed, but Aaron was looking at him lustfully, and he knew that New Years Eve is crazy at the pub, so he just answered 

-I’m holding you on that.  


The pub was crowded and they went to the bar to help Chas. She welcomed them with big proud smile.  
-Thank you boys, I really appreciate this.  


Robert didn’t mind helping her, she was a family now. Everything was great until midnight, he and Aaron briefly kiss and of course Jay barged in. Aaron left the bar to welcome Jay and two of them end up in having drink. Chas was looking at Robert apologetically and he just put his I don’t care face and got back to pouring pints.

By the time they got home, Aaron was stumbling on his feet drunk and went straight to bed. Robert couldn’t help but thinking that this isn’t how it suppose to be, but what he can do, ey? Aaron is the love of his life, he can’t just walk away, not after everything they been through.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space between paragraphs represents approximately one or two weeks.

Next couple of weeks, they had loads of work. Robert deliberately was coming home after Aaron, preparing some dinner for himself while Aaron and Jay, who apparently now was living with them according to amount of time that he was sitting on their sofa, were almost always eating some take out. Never order anything for Robert, not even once.

 

-You know Aaron, I’m not some little wife to clean after you and your boyfriend- Robert said, evidently upset, coming home from long day and finding house in complete mess.  
-You certainly nagging like one- Aaron countered, sitting on the sofa with feet on the table and beer in the hand watching some football game.  


When Aaron showed up in bedroom, Robert was pretending that he was asleep, secretly craving for Aaron’s touch or kiss or snuggle or anything, but he just felt empty space between them and his heart sank. Normally, he would just turn around and spoon Aaron like million times before, but now he already developed the fear of being rejected and redundant and alone, so he decided to suffer quietly and put his well known brave smug face.

 

Aaron came home from the night out with the lads, because apparently Robert wasn’t part of that crew, 5am, steaming drunk after 20 missed messages and calls from Robert, who was worried sick and he just brushed him off with explanation that he has right to have life that doesn’t include Robert.  
-But I’m your husband and that gives me the right to know where were you all night-Robert yelled in disbelief.  
-Don’t get all jealous and clingy Robert, it doesn’t suit you- Aaron responded.  


That morning Robert felt like someone stab him through the heart and then twisted the dagger a few times, just in case. He dressed up and headed to portacabin, at least lads won’t be there to wind him up. He was deeply inhaling cold February’s air trying to clear his head from last night events in order to prevent any more fallout with Aaron. This was misunderstanding, nothing more. And he remembered how annoying and uncalled Aaron jealousy was, so if he was behaving the same, no wonder Aaron lost it. Half an hour later, Nadia barged in.  


-Morning – she greeted him.  
-Hiya, what’s with the glasses?  
-Hangover, pretty bad one.  
-Fun night out, then?  
-As if, more like disaster. Can you believe that Ross actually tried it on with me?  
-Lot of ladies find him proper fit.  
-O, please, he tried to nick my car, twice!  
-Don’t be so judgmental; Aaron and I actually met like that- Robert smiled softly thinking of that memory.  
Nadia chuckled 

\- Your choices are worrying me sometimes. Speaking of which, where are those pillocks anyway?  
-They also had a late night, apparently - Robert exhaled deeply.  


Nadia just gave him weak smile and dig into work.  


They didn’t show up at work that day at all. Robert got home finding Aaron watching some telly at sofa, his feet on the table. Maybe he already forget about fight because it didn’t mean anything, Robert thought and decided to take a high road starting with -Listen, about last night…when Aaron abruptly cut him off  
-Just drop it; I’m not in the mood Robert  


Robert’s jaw clenched. His mind is going to the dark places and he’s worried of what he might say. Late nights, skiving from work, if he didn’t know any better he would be sure Aaron was having an affair. But, Robert even couldn’t bring himself to think about it, it was too painful and he just answered

\- You’re not in the mood for anything these days - and headed to the kitchen.  


Next day, they all worked in silence. Aaron, Adam and Jay were mostly outside, sorting out some scrap while Robert and Nadia doing paperwork. Vic invited them all for a dinner and that was it, pretending that everything is sound.

 

-O, come on Rob, I had enough you sulking over Aaron, let’s just go and check that new club, please- Nadia begged with her green eyes and soft smile and Robert just couldn’t turn her down. 

Later that night, Robert put on his maroon shirt, black trousers and headed to the pub to meet her. She was wearing red cocktail dress, high black heels and her long blond hair was in ponytail. She looked gorgeous.  


Aaron was already there, drinking pint at the bar with Jay, who else. Nadia and Robert had a few drinks and while standing up from the table, Jay couldn’t resist  
-Can’t keep up, old folks?  
-Actually, we thought to change a scene a little- Nadia said, smiling mischievously.  
-Really? Where are you to off then? - Aaron asked trying to sound uninterested, but Robert knew him better.  
-Just some club in Hotten, could be fun - Robert offered, quite pleased with Aaron’s obvious discomfort.  
-You look good- Aaron practically whispered eyeing Robert.  
-What else is new? - Robert answered with smug smile. For the first time in months he felt like himself and all it was that down to Nadia.

-I didn’t hear you last night- Aaron said rolling over to Robert’s side and causally sliding his hand under Robert’s t-shirt.  
-I tried not to woke you.  
-O, you should woke me up, I'd liked to tear that shirt off you - Aaron continued positioning himself on top of Robert.  
-O, yeah? - Robert asked lifting an eyebrow.  
-Definitely…  


Aaron kissed him passionately, his hands wandering all over Robert’s body, their tongues met. Depending on the kiss, Robert groaned in Aaron’s mouth wanting more. He turned them over, kissing and biting Aaron’s neck, slowly palming his growing hardness.  
Three rounds later they were all sweaty and tired but satisfied.


	3. Chapter 3

\- I bought you coffee  
\- Thanks Rob, it’s been crazy morning in the office  
\- Did you ever think of marriage and settling down with kids and all? - Robert asked Nadia out of blue.  
\- No, it’s not really my style and besides how happy married couples do you know?  
\- Ok, I’ll try not to be offended by that.  
\- You can pretend all you like, but I can see how miserable you are.

 

\- So, you and Nadia aren’t exactly best mates, so how you two end up doing business together? – Aaron asked, sharing pint with Jay one lazy afternoon.  
\- Understatement of the century! Well, it was my father’s business and when he married her crazy mother she came as a package deal.  
\- Are they still together, your parents, I mean?  
\- In afterlife maybe, they died in car crash, so I stuck with wicked witch from the west.  
\- Oh, sorry  
\- It’s all right, at least she’s good at all dealing with clients, but apart from that she’s trouble, just like her mother, that’s all I’m saying.

It was 9 am and Nadia already had glass of wine in her hand.  
\- What’s going on? –Robert asked whit obvious annoyance and worry in his voice.  
\- Nothing I can’t deal with.  
\- I’m not going to push you, but I’m here if you need me.  
\- You know Rob, one of these days someone is gonna see you and love you just the way you are  
\- Are you off your medications again?  
\- Really funny. I didn’t have sex four months. I want to be reckless and crazy.  
\- Is something happened?  
\- No, and that’s the problem.

 

\- So, why we have to meet with this client, again? – Adam asked slightly irritated.  
\- Cause those two think that we can’t manage to do any deal without them and we’re gonna prove them otherwise – Jay answered.  
\- And you’re sure that we’re not gonna mess up, cause it’s kinda important deal – Aaron asked with worry in his voice.  
\- Of course, don’t fuss – Jay added with confidence.  


Both, Aaron and Adam felt nervous when two men in suits showed up and started to ask a lot of questions. Jay answered most of them, but by the look of that lads, they weren’t really pleased.  


\- I think that went well – Jay stated with pride – they will call us in no time, let’s go celebrate!  


They didn’t call. Adam was proper angry – I knew that was bad idea, why I go along with you two idiots!  
\- Oh, come on Adam, who knows what went wrong – Jay tried.  
\- I know, you trying to be a big man – Adam yelled.  
\- Don’t blame him, we weren’t real help either- Aaron stated.  
\- Yeah, well I never wanted to be part of that meeting and good luck telling Robert and Nadia – Adam said with clear annoyance in his voice.  
\- How are they gonna find out anyway? – Aaron asked frowning.  
\- You clearly don’t know your husband- Adam answered.

It was Nadia that noticed and bring it up one afternoon, clearly angry.  
\- Great job lads, loosing contacts, you obviously recon we’re loaded!  
\- What are you on about? – Robert asked.  
\- Oh, you didn’t know either, well, those lovely partners of ours accomplished to ruin that Dublin deal.  
\- What?  
\- It wasn’t like that, they were some posh twats anyway- Aaron answered.

 

\- Why didn’t you tell me? – Robert started when they got home.  
\- Is this is gonna turn in another you-keeping-things-from-me fight, cause we had enough of those?  
Robert was looking at Aaron. And he didn’t recognize the man he loved. He always wished for Aaron to be more confident and well rounded, but he never thought that would exclude him. Once again, Robert felt redundant. Not needed. Not wanted. Just holding onto something that wasn’t real. All those thoughts make him feel weak and he couldn’t handle it.  
\- You know what, it’s fine, you can do whatever the hell you want , I’m gonna visit Vic – Robert offered resigned.

 

\- Rob, I’m sorry for that stunt we pull, I know it was stupid and I think we can make it up– Aaron – started – I had some contacts in Ireland, so me and Jay will try to sort something out.  
\- You don’t have to, Nadia overreacted, like always – Robert tried with reassuring smile. He was too scared to admit that Aaron spending time with Jay made his stomach twist.  
\- I want to, it’s all arranged, so see you in a week I guess.

 

\- What’s up with you? - Nadia asked without stopping doing some paperwork.  
\- Oh, nothing, just my husband get off to Ireland thanks to your rant!  
\- Right, cause I’m in the wrong here – she smiled sarcastically shaking her head.  
\- You didn’t help, surely.  
\- Tell me or don’t, but I won’t be treated as your punch bag.  
\- Sorry, It’s just all too much . At this day seven years ago, Aaron and me reunited, decided to give our relationship proper go, and now I feel like he even doesn’t care. Don’t listen to me, I’m being soft and ridiculous.  
-Except you’re not, just honest and hurt? He forgot, did he?  
-There’s nothing to forgot, we’ve never celebrated or anything, just, you know, joke how stupid decision it was…- Robert trailed off- Anyway, it’s not like it’s our anniversary and this deal could bring us some serious cash.  
Nadia’s face was unreadable, she opened her mouth to say something,but then just sighed.

 

\- Had a nice time? – Robert started,trying to sound nonchalant.  
\- It was alright. – Aaron answered putting his bag at the floor.  
Robert stood up, pulled him by the waist and kissed him passionately. 

– I missed you .  
\- Yeah, me too, but it was long trip and I need a shower – Aaron said, and Robert’s face fell – You can join me, tho- he added smirking and Robert grinned, following him to the bathroom.

 

Everybody always thought that Robert is failure, disappointment. Messed up kid who grow up into lying and manipulating bastard. Selfish and coward. He’s got so many warnings about not hurting Aaron. Even Vic said it couple of times. He knew he was a difficult person. Lashing out when he felt cornered, being vicious and lying was like his second nature. But last couple of years he became more calm, understanding, even tho, he still kept the best of him only to people he truly cared about. 

Now, he come to realization that his best isn’t enough. And that thought scared him the most. It was like he always knew, but turning the blind spot. All his fears and doubts hunted him for months and he didn’t have a choice now but to except it. He finished his coffee and start packing.


	4. Chapter 4

\- Aaron, we need to talk  
\- About?  
\- Us – Robert said gesturing between them.  
\- Is something happened?  
\- No, what do you mean?  
\- I don’t know. Maybe you finally manage to get into Nadia's knickers.  
\- Why are you being like this? – Robert already started to feel anger rushing trough his veins – I just want proper conversation about our relationship without any accusations. How can you not see that we alienate from each other? All I want us to be happy !  
\- I’m happy enough considering you’re my husband – Aaron stated practically mocking Roberts attempt of serious conversation. And he looked so calm. There were the days when they were so in sync to each other, that any change of mood, even slightest discomfort didn’t pass unnoticed. And now there’s big elephant in the room. So big that Robert couldn’t breath. And he knew that he should push and push for some answers. But he was too riled up. And he would said something stupid. So, not today then.

Nadia messages  
Those three are on some call, plenty work to be done, if you bothered.  
But he wasn’t. Not really. By the and of the day he’d be far gone. London maybe. Or even better, Barcelona. Always wanted to live there. He was on autopilot. It was clear if the emotions came across he couldn’t do it. And he had to. It’s for the best. Who will miss him, anyway? Vic had enough on her plate. Nadia is a mate, but she’ll get over it. And Aaron, well, its could be days before he even register.

\- What you think you’re doing?  
\- Get off my way, will ya? No need to pretend that all this bother you.  
\- No! – Aaron started to unzipping Robert’s bags and throwing his clothes out.  
\- You’re not going anywhere , I won’t let you! – Aaron shouted, tears falling down his cheeks. Robert saw panic in his eyes but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t want to hurt Aaron. 

Well, not exactly true, he did. But he thought that he couldn’t do it anymore. He just pick another bag and head toward the door. Aaron gripped his arm

– Please Robert, we can go trough this together, just don’t leave me, please. 

There was sincere fear in Aaron’s voice, he was holding Robert too tight, like he didn’t want to let go, ever. Robert hated how weak he was, standing in front of Aaron. But something in Aaron’s eyes made him feel different. Like he meant something.  
\- OK , let’s talk.  
They sat on the sofa, Aaron's gaze never flinched from Robert, like he was scared if he look away Robert would vanished.  
Aaron swallowed – So, your plan was to sneak away while I’m out for business deal? – he sounded angry.  


\- Well, I could just leave anytime, didn’t think you even notice. – Robert answered bitterly.  
\- What are you on about? I love you ! Of course I would notice! – Aaron tried desperately.  
\- You don’t want to talk with me, or grab a pint, or have sex, or do anything that include spending some time with me.  
\- It’s not true. You know it isn’t! I just got myself wrapped up in all this work  
\- Oh, come on, don’t give me that, I’m not that stupid – Robert started to get all riled up because of Aaron’s clueless.  
\- I don’t know what to say.  


Aaron was looking at him with wild eyes and thoughtful face like he was trying to figure out what would be the right words.  
\- Truth. It’s actually very simple Aaron, since you’ re the one who’s always banging about it.  
\- I love you so much, that’s the whole truth. Aaron reached out to hold Robert’s hands, but he pushed him away.  
\- Robert – tears were falling down Aaron’s cheeks, he made himself so small and fragile and Robert couldn’t bear that. He closed his eyes, gathered his thoughts before he spoke again – You keep saying that you love me, but I don’t feel it anymore and it tors me apart, I can’t pretending that I’m OK with all this, it’s killing me – Robert’s voice started to tremble and he attempted to hide his eyes watering, but it was to late and tears found its way.  
\- No, please Robert, I’m begging you, look at me, you got this all wrong. Tell me what’s bothering you and we’ll fix it.  
Robert shook his head with salty smile

– Now you’re suddenly interested – his breathing became heavy, heart breathing rapidly at thought of all bottled up emotions , but he didn’t want to sound pathetic. He couldn’t possibly tell Aaron how abandoned, unloved, unprotected, unnecessary he felt, like he was fifteen again and his dad prefer someone else over him; he was never good enough. It would be always someone better, who’s not disappoint and messed up and impossible to love.

The prospect of having Aaron all to himself with his unconditional love was ultimate happiness. And he got carried away thinking it would last forever, he got it right this time. His little paradise has been taken away along with all joy and colors in this wicked world. Once again, he felt displaced, rejected and he needed to do what he did best – run away. He finally spoke

– We should go separate ways, it’s for the best.  


\- I can’t believe I fell for all you-don’t-love-me-anymore act, you found someone else, didn’t you? - Aaron shouted clinching his fists.  
Robert was irritated, really irritated. – I told you how it is, take it or leave it, I don’t care anymore. – he was slowly standing up.  
\- So, you’re gonna throw away years of our marriage like it didn’t mean anything  
\- It meant everything, it still does  
\- Why are you doing this then?  


Robert sighed. Pure sadness overwhelmed him. He wanted to explain, but bringing up Jay felt desperate, so he opted for different solution.  
\- Let’s spend some time apart, take a break and see what happens  
\- I don’t need break from you – Aaron pleaded with his voice and eyes and Robert wanted to believe it so much. But he was too hurt and vulnerable to gave in at that moment.  
\- Hear me out, I’m gonna stay few nights with mate, it will give some prospective to both of us and we’re take it from there.  
\- Mate? You mean Nadia?  
\- Really? It’s all you got to say? I’m try…  
\- OK, sorry, keep in touch, yeah? – Aaron looked him up and down couple times, in case he doesn’t get the chance to do it again so blatantly.  
\- Yeah – Robert smiled reassuringly. Maybe there is a chance for the two of them.  


When Robert left the room, Aaron felt panic arises, he couldn’t breath properly, the knot in his stomach, the pain in his chest, it was too much. He just wanted to go after Robert, hug him, hold him and never let him go. But, he didn’t dare to push, just kept telling himself that they will sort it. They had to. Messed up forever, right?

It’s been a whole week and Aaron didn’t hear a word from Robert. He kept checking his messages and walking trough the village with hope of random encounter. He couldn’t sleep at night, just staring at walls and feeling empty. Cause that’s what he was without Robert. Bed was too big and cold. Days were unsettling and nothing made any sense. Life was drained out of him. His only wish was to Robert come home.

\- So, what did you do this time? – Victoria asked accusingly.  
\- Why would you think it’s me? Maybe perfect little Aaron made a mistake? – Robert answered annoyed.  
\- Sorry, I saw you coming from Nadia’s house, and I presumed you did something to made him throw you out.  
\- Thanks for believing in me sis, but he didn’t. I left.  
\- What? Why? Are you and Nadia…  
\- No, I mean Vic seriously…  
\- Sorry, sorry, my bad, I’m not accusing you of anything…  
\- You actually are, always the cheat, right?  
\- No, Robert come on, don’t be like that, I’m on your side  
\- Are you? – Robert felt sick for talking like that to his sister, but she rubbed him in wrong way.  
\- Of course, what happened?  
\- Nothing particularly, we had a fight and decided to take a break, that’s all.  
\- Are you all right? – Vic sounded worried and her expressions reminded Robert of their mum too much.  
\- I will be, don’t stress. – He smiled unconvincingly.

\- You’ re home on time, great, quiz just started and I’m gonna win this time – Nadia said grinning and giving Robert bottle of beer.

\- I can beat you in the sleep – Robert grinned back. He felt here more at home comparing his last months with Aaron. Nadia was kind, didn’t ask too many questions and he genuinely enjoyed her company.

 

Aaron heard door bell. But he couldn’t get his hopes up and on the other hand his heart started to beat frantically it might me Robert.  
\- Hey, mate, I bring beer, so we can start on tonight’s match! – Jay announced enthusiastically.  
Aaron nodded with fake smile.  


The game was boring, well to Aaron at least. He couldn’t concentrate. But Jay was oblivious and after match was finished he kept going about it. Suddenly, something got his attention - Where is Mr. Elbow-patches?  
\- Not here – Aaron answered trying to sound not upset.  
\- You finally got to your senses and rid of him? – Jay smiling uncontrollably.  
\- We had a fight, nothing important .  
\- I’m not complaining- Jay added slowly leaning in for a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

The second Jay put his lips on Aaron’s, Aaron pulled away. It felt so wrong.  
\- What are you doing, mate?  
\- Oh, come on Aaron, don’t play games, you want this as much as me.  
\- You obviously misread the situation. And I’m married, if you remember.  
\- Yeah, well, it seems you’re not together at the moment and let’s be honest, you don’t need to stay with him for some sense of obligation, and he’s a big boy. He will survive.  
\- You got it all wrong. I’m with him because I want to. – Aaron said feeling his heart started to beat really fast, he didn’t like the course of this conversation.  
\- Really? I recon you’re little confused there. You crave for excitement and danger and he’s just boring business man.  


Aaron huffed in disbelief. Jay clearly met Robert in his good days. There are many things that his husband was called, but boring certainly wasn’t one of them. And Robert could be dangerous. Very dangerous and last thing Aaron wanted is to see that side of him again. Aaron tried to change the subject 

– And I reckon you had too many of those – pointing to beer bottles.  
\- I had just enough – Jay said with his trade smile and cupped Aaron’s face following with another try of kiss and put his whole body over Aaron. In that moment Aaron felt alarmed. He couldn’t breath. He pushed Jay with such force that he ended up on floor.  
\- Get out – he felt his body shaking and all those buried memories started to go trough his mind.  
\- Hey, I didn’t mean…  
\- Just go! – He was visibly agitated and finally Jay got the message and left.

Aaron felt the anxiety and fear taking him over. He started digging his nails into palms. He couldn’t do it. Not alone. He put his jacket on and headed to Nadia’s house.

He might bang on the door a little too loud, but when she opened in her pajamas all sleepy and confused, but still looking so damn good, the jealousy took better of him, and he entered without any explanation.  
\- Where is he? – was only Aaron managed to say.  
\- In my bedroom, where else? – She answered, enjoying the situation.  
\- What?  
There was something in Aaron’s face that gave away the seriousness of situation, because she continued

– I’m joking, down the hall on the left.  
When Aaron got in the room, his breathing finally calmed down. Robert was peacefully sleeping, spread along the bed. Aaron felt smile across his lips. He always loved Robert’s innocent and fragile look while he was asleep. He quickly removed his clothes, ducked under duvet and slides his hands over Robert’s middle. Familiar scent and warm body made him drifted off in the minute.

\- Aaron? What are you doing here?  
He heard Robert’s slightly irritated but more worried voice. He tried to open his eyes, still adjusting to the brightness of the room.  
\- I’ve had a bad day and just needed you. He reached out to get Robert’s body against his and Robert let him.  
\- Are you all right? Is something happened?  


Robert was panicking and Aaron liked that. It was wrong at this point but it gave him sense of comfort.  
\- Yeah, can I stay here with you? – He opened his eyes and felt so exposed. He would be ashamed in any other case, but it was his Robert, and he wanted to be honest, even beg if that’s what it has to be done in order to fix things and got him back.  
\- Of course – Robert said without hesitation and pulled Aaron closer.  
Aaron knew that a lot of things should be said between them, a lot of issues to be solved. But in that morning, in Robert’s arms, everything felt so right.


	6. Chapter 6

It was Wednesday which meant Robert probably had meetings at Hotton’s office. After slightly awkward breakfast at Nadia’s few days ago they exchanged couple polite nods at portacabin and that was it. But Aaron wanted more. And he was determinate to get it. 

First time Aaron and Jay left alone, Jay stated that Aaron was right about him got too much to drink, and they agreed to act like it never happened. Aaron didn’t want to dwell on it; he got more important things on his mind like ask Robert for a date.

It was silly actually, asking your own husband out and feeling so nervous about it. He wrote and rewrote same message a number of times. At last he decided to go with – I thought we could get lunch today. I’ll bring some in the office if you have some time.

At first he was thinking to make up some business thing and just drop by, but then again he needed Robert to know that he wanted to see him and be with him.

Aaron was looking at his phone intensively twitching his leg, it past 15 minutes with no response. He knew Robert, and Robert loved him. In the past he might doubt it, but now it was clear. Why he doesn’t answer it? Are things that bad between them? He practically jumped when his phone biped.  
Yeah, around 3 p.m. sounds good?  
Sounds great, it’s a date then. :)

Aaron felt so giddy preparing for their encounter. Smile never left his face, until he got to the car. Why I had to write a date? It was so stupid, Robert probably think that I’m off my head. We’re married for Christ sake. A date? Who talk like that anyway? 

He got there a little bit early. He saw someone’s car beside Robert’s on their parking lot, clients obviously. Aaron thought about waiting outside, he didn’t want to interrupt a meeting, but on the other hand, they were in the business together, so he braced the courage, calmed his nerves and entered the office.

Robert was wearing white shirt and brown jacket suit, all focused on signing some papers and Aaron couldn’t help but smile at his dead gorgeous husband. Aaron used to love watching Robert in his element, all serious and professional, always arrogant when the deal was done.  
\- Hello – Aaron greeted Robert and man sitting on the other side of the desk.  
\- Hi – they both answered. – This is Mark and this is…  
\- Aaron  
\- Oh, so you are the one of the lads who will be picking up scrap from my yard next couple of months – dark haired Mark added.  
\- It appears so – Aaron stated.  
\- Well, it was really nice to meet you Robert and I’m looking forward to our future cooperation – Mark said with flirtatious grin and it fill Aaron with irrational want to kiss Robert right then and there to mark his territory. But, given the circumstances, he didn’t want to push his luck, he and Robert were at the odds so any kind of rushed action could jeopardize his plans and scare Robert off. So, he waited until their new client left the room to slide his hands around Robert’s waist.  
\- Hi – Aaron said tugging him closer.  
Robert seemed surprised by this gesture and awkwardly whispered – Hi.  


Aaron didn’t intend to wait any longer before attacked Robert’s lips. It seemed like Robert was going to pull back, but in matter of seconds he returned the kiss with the exact same force. Robert cupped Aaron’s face and Aaron started to take off Robert’s jacket suit. They were gasping for air, their bodies pressed to each other when Robert stepped back.  
\- Aaron, wait, this isn’t… I mean it doesn’t solve anything, I just…  
\- Hey, I know, all right, I know, but I want you, ok? I miss you – Aaron pleaded with soft look in his eyes and Robert had to use all his will power to restrain himself from tearing apart all of Aaron’s clothes and had him on his desk.  
\- Can we just eat our lunch and talk?  


Aaron’s disappointment was all over his face but he reminded himself that this was only temporary and nodded.

– Yeah, sure.  


They ate mostly in silence. After a meal Robert started to introduce Aaron with new deals and make fun of the most clients. Aaron felt rush of happiness run through his body. It was like in the good old days when Robert had multiple inappropriate comments about everyone and Aaron would roll his eyes but secretly loved his husbands’ smart remarks. Robert was laughing at his own joke and Aaron tried to remember when was the last time his husband was this happy and relaxed. He couldn’t and the guilt consumed him.  


\- This was nice, we should do it again – Robert said standing from his chair.  
\- Definitely – Aaron agreed and suddenly like he was stoke with light of bravery continued – What about Friday night? We can check that winery again?  
\- Really? If my memory serves me well you said it was complete waste of money last time?  
\- I can change my mind, can’t I? And besides, you bought three bottles and we finished all of them, didn’t we?  
\- True. It’s on then. 

 

Chas and Aaron were having a brew in the back room when Paddy walked in.  
\- Err, Aaron, Hi, I didn’t know you…  
\- Come of it Paddy, you and mum aren’t really subtle.  
\- Right, yeah, well, we are worried about you. I saw Robert yesterday coming from Nadia’s house and…  
\- Stop it, right now. We just had a little fall out but we’re sorting it.  
\- But why? – Chas snarled – What he did now?  
\- Nothing  
\- Then why you chuck him of the house – Paddy contributed.  
\- I didn’t. He left. – Aaron sadly added. He knew they were trying to help, but all this meddling made it worse.  
\- What? – They yelled in union.  
\- Just leave it, we have some problems but it will be all right. – Aaron tried to reason with his overprotective parents. He was grateful for their effort. But sometimes he felt suffocated by their constant worry.  
\- Problems? Is his friend one of them? – Chas asked with face ready for a fight.  
\- No, it’s nothing like that – Aaron answered irritated.  
\- But why you didn’t say… - Paddy started…  
\- Because I knew you’re gonna put all blame on him and I didn’t want to explain myself…  
\- Aaron, we only want to understand what is going on? – Paddy stated.  
\- Me too. I did something to upset him, but I’m gonna make it right, ok?  
\- Love, if you need anything…  
\- Don’t worry; he will back to me in no time, yeah?  
\- Yeah – they smiled.

 

-Wow, you look good, what’s with the suit? – Nadia asked, clearly checking Robert out.  
\- I wear suits all the time; I don’t see what the problem is? – Robert retorted, looking away, slightly embarrassed.  
\- Yeah, right, I’m totally buying that.  


Robert started to nervously pace around the place. He wanted things to work out between him and Aaron, but it all seemed kind of forced and he probably overdressed.  
\- I’m gonna change myself now…  
\- Hey, don’t let me put you off!  
\- It’s not that, I just feel stupid, Aaron and I are meeting for drinks and I don’t know… - He looked at his hands, rubbing them, palms sweating.  
\- Does he know about that or you’re about to crash his little lads party?  
\- It was his idea! – Robert felt how all his insecurities and doubts came to life again. Why was Aaron even doing this? He never seemed interested before. Does he really miss me or just the security of being with me, old soppy idiot?  
\- Robert, that’s great! – Nadia grinned.  
\- You think? – He hated how desperate he sounded.  
\- Of course, I mean he’s obviously trying, you moving out maybe was the wakeup call he needed.  
Robert smiled weakly, still unable to let himself believe that Aaron wanted him. Like really wanted him. 

He opted for plain purple shirt and trousers at the and. Get your grip, Sugden, you can share a bottle of red with your husband. Not a big deal.

They were sitting across each other at the small table. Aaron wore his black shirt. He did make an effort, Robert thought.  
The tension was there, like they didn’t know how to communicate anymore. Finally, Aaron broke the silence.  
\- I’ve always hated that shirt of yours.  
Robert huffed incredulously. What was that about?  
\- I even attempted to get rid of it once, put it in a washer with my socks, but a damned thing survived!  
Robert couldn’t help himself and laughed.  
\- Same goes for your green jumper. – He added.  
\- Oi, I quite like it!  
\- Well, I don’t.  


They were shaking their heads, visibly relaxing. Slowly they fell into comfortable conversation. Maybe it was wine, or simply the prospect of spending proper time together, but it felt so natural, so right, like being here, drinking this overpriced bottle was the most important thing in the world, their world anyway.  


Robert ended up leaning into Aaron on their way to cab. He didn’t have this much fun and alcohol in while if he was honest. Back in Emmerdale, Aaron took his hand and led him through Mill door. It was nice, familiar. Goofy smile on Aaron’s face made all his walls down. He pulled him closer and started to kiss his neck. Aaron’s smell drove him crazy. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it on the floor, hand wandering, gripping on Aaron’s body. Desire took him over completely as he undone Aaron’s belt and pushed him onto sofa. His head was spinning as he heard other man’s groans while licking his nipple and pacing kisses down his body. He wanted, needed Aaron to fell apart under his touch, he craved for confirmation that he still got it. He licked his balls, slowly, teasing, fingers wrapped around his cock, but not moving.  
\- Robert, please…  
As if Robert could resist him, he took him in his mouth, all of it. Aaron didn’t last long; he came hard with wild moan. Robert covered Aaron’s naked body with his own and they fell into slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

\- Last night was…  
\- Yeah – Robert interrupted him with a smile.  
\- I was thinking, maybe you should come home – Aaron tried with hopeful expression.  
Robert’s body tensed up. There’s nothing more that he wanted. But he didn’t feel ready.  
\- Or maybe we could try to actually date for a while, you know, like couples usually do? – Robert responded with an awkward chuckle.  
\- We’re married Robert.  
\- Yes, but things weren’t that great lately and I really want us to be happy again.  
\- I’ll be happy when you move back in…  
\- Please, can we don’t rush anything?  
\- Fine, nothing stop us to pick up where we left last night, tho?  
Robert smirked and slowly positioned himself between Aaron’s legs.

Last few weeks were the best. Robert couldn’t remember last time when he was so excited about new day and meeting Aaron. Everything fell into place and they were in love and happy and needy.

Don’t make any plans for this weekend – Robert whispered into Aaron’s ear followed by licking that spot behind it.

Quick shivers run trough Aaron’s spine, he turned around all sparkling eyes and wild smile. He tugged Robert by the lapels of his jacket and pressed kiss on his lips.

It really felt like they were dating, just without weird conversations or uncomfortable silence. And they couldn’t get enough of each other, always a bit too handsy for public, but Aaron didn’t mind, he wanted everyone to know how much he loved Robert and wanted him. It was this new feeling of pride that they made it, Robert and him, against all odds. Robert was his and he took it for granted, apparently that married life does for you. But not anymore, not now when he tasted how being without his husband looks like. It wasn’t about routine and fact that they knew every little detail and trade abut one another, it was about bodies on fire and laughs till dawn. 

\- Oh, what we have here, lover boys made up then? – Jay was called out from the other part of the scrap yard.  
Aaron felt Robert’s anger  
– Ignore him  
– What do you want? – Robert asked while Jay was approaching to them.  
– Nothing much, just a little tip, did you become all loved up before or after Aaron and I snogged the life out of each other?


End file.
